Transitions

The Feast April 29 by Bro. Bo Sanchez:

Know the Principle of Obliquity. The Principle of Success.
A DETOUR can bring you to a bigger destiny.
Sometimes, while you are waiting for God's answer, a detour comes. You are so near your ambitions but something suddenly stops you. This is because the enemy wants to discourage you.
Detours are actually good for you because a detour can bring you to a bigger destiny!
Remember:
   1. Remain faithful to do the right thing.
   2. Remain open. Bloom where you are planted.
An opportunity comes dressed as a responsibility.

The next series of talk is "dedicated to the approval addict, the chronically nice, the spiritually abused, and all those under the sun who need to love themselves more". As the words "Heal Your Shame" and "Practice Self-Care" were mentioned by Bro. Bo, one of our CG members kept patting me at my arm, silently telling me that God will speak to me again in the next couple of weeks.

A day after I felt so much pain, God sent His Angels again to cheer me up. April 22, I met my first ever Light of Jesus Family Caring Group.

"Caring groups are small groups of 8 to 15 people who meet each week in a convenient location to learn, pray, have fun, and build healthy relationships."

I met 7 of them. Coincidentally, there are also 7 Archangels, but since I believe that nothing in this world is coincidental, I took this as another sign from God that I am being guided.

At first, I was so reserved in sharing my situation. But, as they listened to me without any bias judgment, I easily opened up. Their advices and support made me feel like I wasn't someone new in the group, but a long time friend. Most of them came from failed relationships too, and they shared how they were able to stand up and see the light of God.

Sister 1, who, by the way, is very pretty, had an ex who was a seafarer too! As I was about to badmouth seafarers, Brother 1 told me that he is also a seafarer. Good thing I kept my mouth shut! Hahaha! But Brother 1 was so frank and logical in giving his advices. It was him who said "Bigyan mo ng halaga sarili mo" (Give yourself some worth). Ouch! But true!

Sister 2, who was sitting beside me, was so motherly, that whenever she gave her advice, I just simply wanted to hug her.

Sister 3 was the most vocal of all. She shared a lot, as in a LOT of good advices. And I saw how strong her personality was. Anyone will feel fortunate to have her as a friend.

Brother 2 prayed over me. I felt his strong positive energy radiating as he gently placed his right hand over my shoulder during the prayer.

Brother 3 was the listener type. Most of the time, he was just listening to me whenever I shared, then, would give his little advices, then, listened to me again. I wondered if he has a background at counseling!

Of all the things that they said, the words of Sister 4 struck me the most. She said "Alam mo, from a stranger's point of view, sa sinabi ng ex mo, wala na kayo!" (You know what, from a stranger's point of view, with what your ex said, you're no longer in a relationship). Ouch! Straightforward, but it was what struck me the most.

After our CG meeting, most of us went to Padre Pio Church. We attended the second mass, "almost" attended the third mass, sacrificed the scorching heat of the sun and the humid weather, but everything was worthwhile.... because... we were able to speak with Mang Ramon! Last March 3, Mang Ramon told me that God has already given me what I have been asking for. And now, this is what he said as I deeply prayed "Angel Gabriel, please let me know what is God's plan for me. If it will hurt me, its okay, just please tell me the truth. please guide Mang Ramon":

"Wala talaga akong maramdaman sa iyo. Wala kang sakit, wala kang problema. Its all granted to you. He's even inviting you to volunteer in His Church."

Okay, I felt happy, but I thought to myself, what does this mean? Is it another word of hope just to keep me sane?

Anyway, my turn is done, so I picked up my bag to leave the area. But, Mang Ramon suddenly grabbed my arm again and said: "Its all granted to you ha... Its all granted to you"

He was so stern as if he wanted to tell me that I should believe! By then, goosebumps started to appear on my arms. As a few tears rolled down my cheeks, I silently prayed and told God "Lord, all I am praying is for M to reconcile with me so that I can finally have a complete and happy family. I cannot fully understand what Your plans are, but I know that I have to trust You. In the end, may Your will be done."

It was almost 9:30PM when we went home. It was a very long day, but my first CG experience is truly memorable. I felt so blessed and I am not ashamed to shout out the blessings that I have received from God!

"Lord, thank you for sending me your Angels today. I know I cannot have them by my side forever, but, I will always cherish the memories that they have planted in my heart. They have made a positive impact in my life, and I pray that they too, will be healed from any hurt that they are presently feeling. Please shower them with your blessings, so that they may continue to be a blessing to more and more people. Amen."

April 21 was a very bad day for me. I went to my ex's parents' house, and it just felt different - how they treated me, how they told me stories, how they wanted some legal papers to be fixed in favor of them. But, in front of them, I had to show I was okay. I bravely smiled, forced a few jokes, and tried my best to radiate a positive chi. However, after 3 long hours of pretending, I could no longer take it. I immediately told them I had to leave to meet a friend.

As I rode a bus, the conductor asked me my destination. I went blank. I didn't know where to go. I simply asked "Hanggang saan po ito? Doon na lang ako" (Until where will this bus reach? Drop me off there). As I took my bus ticket, I turned my head to face the window, then, I cried. The feeling was uncontrollable. It was so painful, and I just can't stop the tears. I started having hiccups and found it difficult to breathe. Good thing, the passenger beside me was fast asleep, otherwise, she would have enjoyed watching a drama on board!

Whenever I'm in so much pain, I always call on Angel Raphael to heal me. As I prayed, true enough, my sobs subsided and I finally got my composure. By then, my eyes were already swollen. New learning for me: I should always have my sunglasses!

To focus my attention on something else, I sent a message to some friends asking them to say a silent prayer for me. And one of them invited me for coffee! What a relief! At least, I'll be able to talk with someone who can keep me sane.

I jumped off at the Mall of Asia, and went to the restroom to freshen up myself. There were no people inside, so I decided to give my cry a full last blow. Inside the cubicle, there, I cried again. I just wanted to release all the bad emotions. After a few minutes of crying, I felt lighter. But, as I went out of the cubicle - SURPRISE! The restroom which was empty a few minutes ago was suddenly jampacked with people! I shyly smiled at the next person in line.

As I walked away with people staring at me, I silently said: Kaye, this should be the last time you'll be hurting yourself, okay?

Yes.... this will be the last time I'll be hurting myself!