Transitions

A few months ago, before this trial came, (before December 11, 2011 to be exact), I visioned my Holy week to be: spending the long holiday with him, doing our yearly Visita Iglesia (just like last year where he had fun taking my pictures), praying the Stations of the Cross together, then, heading straight to an out-of-town vacation where we can have our mini DIY prenuptial pictorial session.

BUT, GOD CHANGED EVERYTHING!

Many things are still blurred, I am still in darkness, But God never left me alone, and I believe that HE will never leave me alone. God continues to show me the light, even just a tiny spark of hope.

April 5, start of the Holy Week Vacation. 5 days without work. 5 days of being alone. My first Holy Week without him.

Will I survive?

I am afraid.... I am scared.... I miss him!

But, I trust God that He will never abandon me.

I know I have to go through all these pain for our relationship to grow.

After all these trials, I believe that we will have a stronger relationship and a pure and true love.

If he doesn't come back.... at least, I know I'll be a stronger and better version of me.

But I am still holding on.... he will come back to me!

Holy Tuesday, I prayed the Stations of the Cross together with my Legion of Mary (LOM) Family. Since the crosses were at the garden area beside the Church, a lot of mosquitoes bit me. As usual, I became a polka dotted human! Suddenly, I remembered him.... Last year, we did the Visita Iglesia and prayed the Stations of the Cross together. And, whenever mosquitoes would bite me, he would gently rub my skin to ease the itch.

True enough, you learn to appreciate simple things when they are gone. But, I still do hope and pray that he will come back.

As I reached home, I broke down again and cried a bucket of tears. I knew I just had to let it out.

"Lord, please comfort me. Please ease my pain."